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Wildcat's ABZ of RoadKill

WARNING

The following pages you may find offensive! If you're easily offended click here and please do not proceed.

Click here for 03/04 Entries so far

Due to the creative genius of one Charlie Conroy whom we proudly claim as one of our own, we are excited to announce a world first, the ABZ of ROADKILL. This is a photographic competition open to all bikers worldwide, it is designed to utilise something that would otherwise just lie around going to waste, and is currently regarded just as something to stay upwind of and to avoid hitting when it is lying in the middle of the road. This comp is aimed as a small way of making their sacrifice worthwhile and at the same time offending the general population. Both worthy aspirations of any genuine bikers!

In light of the fact that we are bikers it could almost be classed as recycling.

OK. here are the rules, Rule 1. "there are no rules", Rule 2. "see rule 1"... But, in order to give everyone an equal chance there is a scoring system and some guidelines and they go like this.

The first letter of the erstwhile animal is used to complete the alphabet eg. A. antelope. B. bison. C. cow. and so on.

One point is given for each letter. However triple points will be awarded for an animal that is killed by your own bike, bikes being carried on trailers are ineligible as is bashing the neighbours cat to death on your primary case etc. You have to be riding the bike at the time of impact! Another example: A Kangaroo is the letter K. However it could also be the letter S for Skippy, or M for Macropod, or B for Boomer or R for Roo. Whilst all are acceptable they must be common names, not ones just made up. So in this instance, one poor Skippy would be 5 points or more. If for example you also find a Koala, then that too, can be a K. Domestic pets are worth 2 points and an extra one if you know their real names.

The homo-sapiens species will NOT be accepted! We're dead against homos anyway!

There is also a sliding scale based on degree of difficulty involved in hitting and killing the animal, this is similar to scoring in high diving, eg. Dolphin, multiply 1 by 6.5 due to them living in the ocean. Elephant, multiply 1 by 4.8 due to them being so bloody big. Dodo, multiply 1 by 100 due to them being extinct. Judges decision on the eligibility of a degree of difficulty is based on their intimate knowledge of the worlds animals and no discussion or correspondence will be entered into regarding their decisions.

Double points will be awarded for photographs taken from downwind on a hot summers day but only for a period of a minimum of 4 days and a maximum of 21 days after the demise of the animal, entrants honesty will apply in this category. Photographs claiming eligibility for these points must be taken only by the entrant or must include the entrant standing downwind from the animal, pictures pinched from other sources are ineligible for judging. Initiative and cheating a bit in gaining a full alphabet will of course be tolerated and artistic presentation will be considered in the judges final decision, including photographs of naked nubile young ladies or money along with the entries may also help.

We'll make more rules up if we need them. Easy hey!

Your RoadKill photo must have your bike in the picture! If no bike then no points. A short story about the ride, who you are, where you were going ect. ect. would also be appreciated but not compulsory. If you have access to a scanner or a digital camera then we will accept them via email providing they are in .jpg format and under 100kb. If you don't have access then never fear, contact us by email and we will give you the address to send them with a stamped self addressed envelope (if you want them back) and we'll scan them and post them to the web. Most internet cafe's only charge a pittance for photo scanning if your really stuck. Every picture will be posted as soon as possible so everyone can keep up to the scoring.

The year for this event will run from the 20th day of the month of June ( due to our AGM/Xmas Party date!!) each year. Why then? We just told you! Emails will be accepted right up till that date and snail mail providing it is post marked a week prior to that date.

Actual members only will be eligible for the yearly club trophy, however all bikers from anywhere in the world will be eligible for the fantastic grand prizes on offer!

And what's the prize you ask? Well at this stage we're looking for major sponsors, but this being a fair-dinkum event we are offering initially a very rare, highly sought after and extremely collectable Wandering Walgett Wildcat's stubby holder! A worthy prize in any bikers bug-stained eyes! And that's just a start! Hard to beat I know, but we'll update the prize list as we get them made available to us. So go on, join in, submit your roadkills and be a part of the fun! We are also offering a great prize to the most *creative/artistic* picture. The possibilities are only limited by what your wonderfully warped minds can open to!

Should any dispute arise then it will be referred to the adjudicator. We are currently accepting applications for this position. Essential qualifications are vegetarian, a degree in Veterinary Science or Zoology, at least 5 years experience working with animals, membership of Greenpeace and/or The Wilderness Society, with papers published in recognised periodicals, and travel experience including at least one accidental roadkill on all five continents. Failing that, a blonde, blue-eyed recent winner of a recognised wet t-shirt competition will have to do!

So grab the camera, fire the bike up and get those photos rolling in. Keep an eye on the site for updates as they happen and be part of the fun!

Click on the names in the table up top to view entries so far or click on this!