hefalump

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Introducing Hefalump!!!!!!!

Hefalump tracked down!	The Ulmarra Report
Centrefoldalump	The Yowie Report
Manilla Report	A Wildcat Prenup

a short Biography.

Meet the true Hefalump.

Well I have often had the question asked, whilst the Wildcats and myself are at the pub or a rally “WHO THE HELL IS HE???!!!” (Now lets be honest “What the fuck’s that?”) So just briefly here is the Hefalump's life story to date.

I started life as quiet Hefalump though once people got to know my talents as a Hefalump, things went straight to the top. I lived much of my earlier life as a toy boy to the late great Marilyn Munroe as seen on the left. She found me absolutely adorable, though due to the beliefs of the period that inter-Hefalump relations were completely taboo, our relationship was kept completely under wraps. The 2 photos attached are probably the only ones in existence.

The photo to the right has always been one of my favourites. We were just fooling about one night and believe me, it was making my trunk stand to attention! What a view!! The damn paparazzi snapped this shot and ruined the whole mood. Though still to this day it turned out to be one of her most famous photos. After the loss of Marilyn my life went somewhat down hill. I frequented sleazy bars pubs and night clubs - even sang in a heavy metal rock band. Rather dumb group of blokes - I couldn’t get them to string a full sentence together so I just suggested that they call themselves something simple like AC-DC. Here’s a photo of us back in the early 70s. I didn’t think they would make it without my talents though they seem to have done quite well with the list of songs that I composed while we were together and left for them. Although they left “Who Made Who” and some other songs a hell of a long time before they decided to sing them.

The psycadelic days of the 70s, the speed (Fast Cars) the drugs (Bex Papers) and the alcohol (metho to clean my trunk) took its toll and 30 years was lost only to awaken at the bottom of a green garbage bag at the back of a church in Walgett (of all the low life places!) That’s where I met Preacher who suggested that I meet some of his friends who he affectionately called the Wildcats. He even reckoned he could get me a ride on a motorbike. So I agreed and off we went. This was to be the turning point in my life as I looked at Ferg, Pat and Palmer and decided that they needed some (lots of) guidance. I have ridden with them everywhere they go since, ensuring their safety as they tell me that if I am Pink then they are too pissed to ride; if I am soggy then it’s far too wet to ride and if I happen to be flying through the air then god help the rest of them because someone has fell off and is following close behind in mid air at great speed. So that’s been my role in the Wildcat club and if you see a black Wildcat tee shirt at a rally or pub you’re bound to find me close by taking everything in so an accurate up to the minute report can be done and all the Wildcat secrets revealed.

Hefalump