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Now I know that you all have been out there sitting and waiting with great anticipation for some notion of how the hell you remove both wheels from the average motorcycle without the mandatory use of several large chunks of firewood, a quantity of standard house bricks and a length of rope. But believe me it is possible as the boys from Vee Two have shown me.

Well this is how it all started. There we were at Wakefield all unloaded, the bikes off the bus and ready to go. Now as you do, we all jump in and start preparing, and doing the jobs that need to be done prior to getting on the track, Dredgy with his superb managerial skills was doing the job he does best which sort of goes like this “Rutty! Change the oil in my bike then do those other 4.  Rod! Check all the sponsors stickers on all the bikes and make sure they’re all spot on, John & Dr Woods! You get the timing gear out and set up. PALMER! PALMER! PALMER! Pull all the wheels off the bikes and get the new Dunlop tyres put on them. I will be over here really, really, busy if you need me, just call.”

To give you some sort of idea of what horrors were going through my head, whilst looking at the 5 bikes sitting there and what I assumed was one hell of a job, you must first have some idea how this task is undertaken in the shed at home. It’s quite simple really but rather in depth, so this is how I normally do it: You start on a Friday afternoon by getting on the phone and organising around 3 blokes to come over on Saturday morning to give you a hand .You can’t expect blokes to help you out without at least offering them a beer so you get off the phone and go to the nearest pub and pick up a minimum of 2 cartons of amber fluid. This can take quite a while, so there’s Friday afternoon gone. Saturday morning you drag yourself out of bed, take a couple of Panadol for the mild thumping you seem to have somewhere behind your eyeballs and you start getting things ready. You get several chunks of wood of varying sizes and shapes, so as to maximise the precision of the height of the bike whilst the front and rear wheels are removed. You find several bricks for a good steady base and a rope in case you want to get real technical and give the bike lateral support by tying the handle bars up to the rafters in the shed to prevent the AOT effect (ARSE OVER TIT).  Now the boys arrive and as you do, you crack a stubby and discuss the procedure in great depth. As a finely honed team you then grunt, swear and struggle and try and jam at least 2 fingers on the hands of each bloke to ensure that the bike is sitting rather precariously.  Then proceed to remove the rear wheel. At this point be sure to close the doors on the shed as the slightest of winds may cause the “AOT” effect to happen. Time for another stubby or two then on to the front wheel the same procedure applies though it is advisable to remove all small children and women from the immediate vicinity of the works in progress as the cursing and finger jamming at this point seems to dramatically increase at an astounding rate. Time for another stubby or two or three, trying to only tip the bike “AOT” no more than twice, thus minimising the scratching of the paintwork. You remove the front wheel. You’re now half way there!  Place the 2 wheels and 3 inebriated mates in the Ute and proceed to the nearest bike shop to have the old tyres pushed off and the new ones fitted.  Whilst waiting for this to be done, wander over to the pub and have four to six beers.  Pick the wheels up then proceed home to fit them back on the bike. Prior to starting have a quick beer and discuss the plan of attack for this part of the job. It becomes a little unclear to those doing the job from this point forward but the wife assures me that this is how it goes. You front the back wheel on the back (wipe the scratches off the left side) Back the front wheel on the front (wipe the scratches off the left side). Pick the bike up off the ground. Giggle. Front the sprocket with the wheel on the back or is it put the wheel with the sprocket on the front, pick the bike up off the ground again, giggle, put the sprocket with the wheel on the bench.  Drink the remaining beer.  Phone the bike shop Monday morning and have them pick the bike up from the floor of the shed and repair all the damage and fit the wheels.

Now with all of this in mind, I started to make the necessary phone calls from Wakefield Park and asked Dredge where the nearest pub was, so as I could promptly get the job under way. With a really baffled look on his face he questioned why, to which I promptly answered with the above procedure for the removal of wheels and tyres. After the ringing in my ears subsided and the swelling to the side of the head had gone down he proceeded to introduce me to these new fangled thingys called ANDERSON BIKE STANDS, and what a piece of gear they are. Damn things are on wheels at the back and just roll under the bike and you push down on the handle and it's straight up off the ground. There is heaps of clearance to undo the wheel nuts and take off the wheel, no jammed fingers or anything. Then they also make a front stand that works just as well, you put one end of it under the forks, pull down on the handle and up it comes. Again, heaps of clearance and you undo the wheel nuts and the wheel comes straight out. The bike just sits there solid as a rock while you get the tyres changed and shove them back on. You have got the whole bike of the ground in a matter of minutes. These things are so easy to use even an accountant can use them! We got John to have a go to prove this. No worries!.

Now after thinking about this and its use for the average bike rider, these things have got to be the duck's nuts because if the average accountant can use them, the average 12 to 13 year old child will have no trouble. Now just think, my above method of wheel removal still stays basically the same, you still get the 3 mates over, you still get the couple of cartons of beer, but you can sit back and drink the beer in peace and let the kids do the job, now that’s got to be easier. Now I suppose you’re thinking this is all fine, but I don’t own a sports bike, so it’s no good to me! Well you’re wrong! They make these things to suit all styles of bikes and believe me, I since have tried a couple of other brands of stands and no word of a lie ANDERSON do make the best most versatile and user friendly bike stand I have yet to see so check them out at  www.andersonstands.com  or www.gobike.com.au/category563_1.htm

While I am on the bandwagon I have to mention my new race leathers that turned up before the last race meeting from TIGER ANGEL bloody terrific! The things fit great they’re comfortable and make even a goose like me look good on the track.  I am pretty damn impressed with them. So much so that I haven’t yet had them off  which apparently was pissing the Vee Two boys off a little while we were having tea at the Workers Club in Goulburn on  Saturday night – can’t understand why.

Next issue Dragon Tyre Warmers - are they something to do with the Mother In Law's breath or something else? I will be interviewing Mick Jolly who owns Dragon Tyre Warmers to find out. Till next time.

 

  

This is not a bike stand

but could be used as a

crude substitute.

(didn't think it was that crude! - Ed)

   

 

The Flying Frog

        

 

 

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