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Well I thought I would start this edition with a little run down on one of the team sponsors, who it seems is the most unlikely candidate for a major sponsor of a race team such as Vee Two. 

I will give some small explanation of their business and how they have assisted Vee Two racing on its path to fame and glory - from little known has-beens, to the finely honed pack of 90kg plus athletes who exist in the Vee Two pits of today. What a load of pig shit! You should see us all  lined up ready to hit the race track. Accounting Solutions, the sponsor I refer to, had to move their sponsorship sticker forward on the tank because the beer bellies were obscuring it from view. Dredge and I for instance, both guilty of this offence, after 10 days lying in a pool in Thailand drinking (red cordial of course - got to keep fit... ha ). Well the only reason our times were better was that God damn Greenpeace were hot on our trail trying to roll
Dredge back on. There's near more Dredge than Ducati!

 us back into the nearest large body of water. 

Back to the point of this story - to give some credit to a company by the name of Accounting Solutions, owned by John McDonald or should I say Team Manager - John McDonald (Oh grand and worshipful one). Accounting Solutions has played a major part in the formation and development of the team. 

Now you would expect accountants to have absolutely no sense of humour, or fashion, dry, monotone and in possession of enthusiasm bordering on the level of a near death experience....  well I am sorry to say that you would be

 'ABSOLUTELY RIGHT' 

From what I can see, Dredge has placed poor old John under his wing and taken it upon himself to teach John a few lessons.

Lesson #1 - the finer points of being loud and obnoxious (proper etiquette for bikie scum)

Lesson #2 - do it whilst swilling copious amounts of piss.

Lesson #3 - the greater art of taking the piss out of anyone and everyone you meet.

Lesson #4 - making all efforts to neglect the fact that inside your head is a brain which under normal circumstances one should attempt to keep in it's original wrapper.

Now I think some of Dredge's hard work has paid off as John's behaviour in the car park at the emergency ward of the Nepean Hospital (after Rod Day's unfortunate oops on turn two) goes to show. We got to the hospital at around 6.30pm to pick Rod up. 

They told us we had to wait a while cause he wasn't ready, so we did. We were all happy to just sit in the car park and quietly wait, but no, not John. He had to go and get grog didn't he. Then he had to unload the Vee Two scooter and go get pizza. Up on one wheel and off  down the street cooeeing and yelling and carrying on like a prized chook. Then we all proceeded, at Johns request, to have a party in the car park. Tables and chairs out of the bus, esky in the middle doubling as a portable coffee table and there you have it, until security decides they want pizza too!  (Well at least I think that's what he  wanted. Surely he wouldn't ask us to leave... would he?) 

Now this has got to prove that he has learnt something because we all had fun (all except Rod, he had to much morphine in him to give a rats arse). So if you have had enough of the boring stick in your old accountant,  piss him off and give Accounting Solutions a go. At least after he has bored you shitless, he will go and get on the piss with you... got to be a plus, (mind you, the grog bill will be subject to scrutiny by the Australian Taxation Office.)

Next  edition we  will get to the heart of matters and talk about the real grunt of the Vee Two team.

 

Heres a couple of jokes I thought I would just throw in for the heck of it. (No harm intended John. I gotta be careful or I mightn’t have a bike to ride next year)

1.      What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

2.      When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

3.      What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

4.      How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

5.      What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Heres one for you Duds, damn nice stuff you must admit!

 

Till next time,

The Flying Frog

 

 

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