prenup

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A WILDCAT PRENUP.

There are several mentions below of the Webmaster - if none appear you know why.

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today, ashes to ashes dust to dust so forth etc. Well that’s shagged Stan hasn’t it? Like the old story says “How do you cure a nymphomaniac” ?????? Marry it. Or then again as Pat always says “I wear the pants in my house - Anne just tells me what colour”. Then you got Bruce’s most common comment “IT'S MY BED AND I WILL COME OUT FROM UNDER IT WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY”. Don’t let me start on Fuddy Duddy (Webmaster) the most hen-pecked hubby on earth. I mean shit, an Hefalump’s only got 1 page not 3 god damn hundred. (Woo up there Hefalump your getting carried away again) Now back to what I was dribbling on about oh yeah, love and marriage. That was the deal we (the Hefalump and several humans) all got together to wish Stan and Anne all the best for a happy life together (Oh yes Stan “LIFE” - scary huh!) If my stupid human had shot his wife when they met he would be out on parole by now - point to ponder Stan. Anyhow Stan being a well respected member of the Wildcats, the turnout at Bruce and Kate’s was great with members coming from Gunnedah Narrabri Gilgandra Walgett and the Ridge with most turning up for a quick drink or two on the Friday night. No prizes for guessing that Pat Ferg and Palmer were there with their ears on.

Well Friday night went over with a gurgle and a slurp with probably 10 to15 people present. Hard to count when the Ferg puts his great hat in the road and tries to attract all the Hefalump's attention! I kept telling him I can’t do a full story on you Ferg. Besides I pledged to write only interesting stuff.

Saturday morning we all got our shit together after Palmer had burned us some eggs and bacon and decided to go for a quick ride out to Lightening Ridge and back and Beer somewhere in the middle. Lucky me I got to ride out with Pat on the Ducati. The only time he was on the road was when he was crossing it! Pat is definitely not Italian - Irish yes, Italian No. Whilst we were at the Pub at the Ridge I seemed to be exuding that Hefalump appeal that I have and again the women couldn’t keep there hands of me. You’ve have heard of Hugh Hefner? - well call me Hugh Hefalump from here on check the Photo. I then resigned myself to the fact that there is no good denying the fact I’M A STUDALUMP.

With the boys getting more jealous by the moment I suggested it was time to leave, anyhow the jealousy and the fact that Lizz was starting to scare the locals we headed back to Walgett. Mind you the studalump rode back 2 abreast (Beats hanging off a handle-bar any day!!)

Back in Walgett people had started to arrive and things were getting well under way. The keg was tapped and everyone had settled in.

I spent most of the night trying to avoid the females though it ended up getting the better of them and the inevitable happened. I did the obvious and went from tit to tit to tit woh titty titty titty. And unlike the average big noting Wildcat I have the photos to prove it. And check the size of the Boobies in the pink - a Hefalump could get lost in there and never get found till the next winter thaw. Then you have the Blonde boobies as Dredge says “Very perky and good if you get lost – they’re always pointing in the right direction” Watch the picture page for that photo I had tea with here. Once the Hefalump's head stopped spinning and my trunk relaxed a glance around clearly saw that every one was having a real good time including Fuddy Duddy who had just been in the spa and resembled a brother Hefalump (With a smaller trunk) in his Y fronts. I normally only hang my trunk out if I need a drink - his must have needed a drink it! Resembled a dried up prune - same size too. After that was tucked away the party could continue and continue it did into the wee hours of the morning.

Morning brought one hell of a beautiful day with the rain coming down in buckets though to a Hefalump this is not a problem being small enough to sit on the dash behind the windscreen of a car - told you I’m a cleaver little Hefalump (Even though Pat & Palmer called me a Soft Trunk) Ha soft Trunk Yeh Dry trunk. The humans were hoping for a quick ride back to Burren and a beer to dry out then straight on to home. They had figured maybe 2 hours - YEH RIGHT! Very hard if someone leaves their brain in Walgett and tries to go through Collarenabri to get it. It could only be Goog one corner in 200 kms and he missed it unbelievably stupid (Would make a good Wildcat) So Pat, Palmer & JH very very happily stood half way to Burren in the rain merrily waiting. They should have known because Goog is the only man that when you ask him his name he checks the tag on his shirt (Most mothers write their sons names here) and says “Extra large”. So that I guess wraps up another Wildcat outing and only 400000 brain cell to go - so until next time - Keep the Shinny side up and the Rubber side down - and a rope around Goog.

Hefalump