yowie report

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Yowie 2001 - as seen through the eyes of the Hefalump.

Aaaaaaaaaaaagh is how a true-blooded Hefalump would explain the beginning of what was set to be one hell of a good Yowie 2001. As it turned out my 3 useless humans and myself planned to leave Gunnedah on Thursday afternoon so we could pick up 2 other drop kicks from Woolongong at Muswellbrook that night and ride with them back to Narrabri on Friday to meet the rest of the Wildcats. As is written in Wildcat law, and so I am told must be adhered to, we had the 3 regulation drinks (Cordial of course) at the Courthouse hotel before leaving, when it was explained to me that Ferg would be piloting the Birdie and my human would be on the Spoilt Bitches Trumpy. Ferg being used to riding a cruiser made it all but clear that under no circumstances would he ride any faster than 120km per hour, so me being the clever little Hefalump that I am, opted to ride with Ferg and let Pat and Palmer do as they please. So off we went out across to Breeza plains. The road opened up and the Doohan twins were off, I was feeling pretty smug at this point, and for once in my life felt quite safe, UNTIL I looked up and there was Ferg with a shit eating grin all over his face and a smile from ear to ear, now we get to the Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah because, god snapping duck shit, did he get carried away in the moment, it was somewhere around the 280km per hour mark, that we had long left the other two bikes in our trail and the elastic bands on my back had started to give way, try flapping in the breeze at that pace and tell me you wouldn’t POO in your fur, and having to rely on the ever so fast reflexes of the Ferg to save you, I am one lucky Hefalump. We met with Dredge and Rutty as planned and made hogs of ourselves at the bar as per usual, then next morning rode back to Gunnedah, mind you with Ferg still grinning like an Hefalump on heat we were in Gunnedah in 1 hour and 10 mins. I must add that Dredge didn’t disappoint us doing the whole distance on one wheel with absolutely no regard for life, limb or our friends in blue (When they were handing out brains he thought they said trains and missed his)

Well we picked up the rest of the Wildcats at Gunnedah and of course, several cordials at the Court House, then on to Baan Baa Hotel as more cordial was needed, then home for the night at the Palmers house (Fools imagine letting them all know where they live. They will never get rid of them!!). Bruce, Kate & Liz were waiting for us. We of course did the obvious and settled in for a few quiet drinks.

Next morning brought a few quiet hangovers with it and a small fright for the Hefalump. It was quite early when I had got up to take a leak in Palmers sink, (thank god Anne had done the washing up). With a quick glance out the window at the sunrise brought what was sure to be problems because there was Liz bouncing around in the back of the ute, upon which I assumed a lizard or snake had crawled into her swag, I was just about to call for the rest of the Wildcats to help the damsel in distress when Ferg came to the rescue, he was very fast getting there because it seemed as though he just popped out from under the swag, he must have fixed everything because it all went quiet after I gave them a wave.

The morning brought the rest of the Wildcats with Ted, Rossco and Smithy being present and accounted for. We rode out to the rally had a few drinks and watched some goose fall of a Harley in the drags. Then converged back to Palmers place were we had a bus waiting to take us back out to the site once we had parked the bikes (Beats DUI) I didn’t think my human was that bright (Probably his wife’s idea aka Spoilt Bitch). Dredge, being as clever as he is now known to be, made us go over to get 2 bottles of Tequila as ONE couldn’t possibly be enough (The hangover proved that - GOOSE) yes and drank them both. We got back out there and settled in to a good time which wasn’t hard to achieve until the bar closed then back to Palmers place just to top ourselves up. The attendance list for the weekend looked good with all the no hoping humans present numbering around 20 and 1 Hefalump all partying hard and having a good time. So that about sums up another lost weekend for the Hefalump and my humans wouldn’t have it any other way. So until the next Wildcat outing (better known as piss up) keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

Hefalump